This is hard to write.
When I first saw that Robin Williams had passed away, I assumed it was due to a heart attack or something similar. He was relatively young, but such things are not unheard of, especially when the person in question has a history of substance abuse.
Then I read that it was an apparent suicide, and that he had been grappling with a particularly bad depressive episode recently, and I felt like I had been sucker punched.
Here's the thing. Yes, Robin Williams was a comedic genius, an incredibly talented actor, and by most accounts a very generous and compassionate soul. He was prolific as I was growing up in the 90's, and he made me laugh more times than I can count. For those reasons, I mourn him as I would mourn any artist who has affected my worldview and given me joy.
But honestly, it goes a lot deeper than that in this case. His death has frightened and humbled me, in a way that I don't often allow myself to feel.
