Wipes

The other night, I was wandering through Walgreens when I saw a little travel package, with the words "Playtex" and "sexy" featured prominently.

I literally did a double take. Was Playtex trying to make menstruation sexy? Was this just the latest battleground in the ongoing attempt by our corporate overlords to ensure that every aspect of womanhood is sexualized, and assigned some must-buy specialty product to correct some newly imagined defect?

Obviously this warranted closer inspection.

This is what I saw:

"Before & After". OH MY GOD.

Okay, a few thoughts. First of all, as a friend of mine said when I showed her this: "If you need a wipe _before_, maybe you should just take a shower." AMEN, SISTER. A shower is never a bad idea. Just go with that.

Second, they really went for it with the vagina art on the box, huh?

Anyway, once I recovered from a giggle fit (that I'm pretty sure was witnessed by the Walgreens "beauty consultant", but whatever), I just shook my head at the sheer silliness of buying, well, Sex Wipes. What a high-strung, profligate society of narcissistic cretins we are, thinking we need -

And then I looked down into my basket and realized afresh that I was about to purchase these.

Touche, Playtex Fresh + Sexy. Touche.